Your Influence is Never Neutral
Your influence is never neutral so use it wisely, just like my mother Kathy O’Sullivan did.
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The Tipping Point in Youth Sports 2024
When our patience for our kids development no longer exceeds our expectations of their performance, we reach a tipping point that leads to stress, anxiety, dropout and more.
Learning from Losing: Life Lessons from Roger Federer
Roger Federer is a 20x Grand Slam champion and one of the greatest players of all time, yet he only won 54% of his points played. Champions learn from losing.
Saying Goodbye to My #1 Fan
On April 19, 2024, I said goodbye to my #1 fan. I said goodbye to the person who always told me “I love watching you play.” To the person who believed in me no matter what, and always encouraged me to dream big, and to jump off the cliff and…
Winning Vs Fulfillment: How Society Teaches Us to Focus on the Wrong Things in Youth Sports
I recently spent a few days with some NCAA Division I programs I have worked with the past couple of years. Both programs have been very successful on the field, winning conference championships and achieving high national rankings and recognition. Both programs also want to keep pushing to the next…
Do You Work Hard, or Do You COMPETE?
“But coach, I am working hard out there,” many of us have heard often as a coach. “Yes Dad/Mom, I am trying my best” sounds familiar to many a parent. We all want our athletes to work hard and apply themselves in training and games. But is something more needed…
2023 Most Important Books of the Year
It’s that time of year for us to share our favorite, most important books of 2023. We were able to interview some amazing authors this year, and read so, so many good books, but a few books really stood out to us as exceptional. Many of these books have been…
The Storm Has Its Purpose
The other day I was on a live webinar with a couple of dozen parents of young athletes, almost all moms. They were there to gain some insight into how they could best support their children on the sporting journey across a variety of sports. I was asked a question…
Don’t Be a Starving Baker
Have you ever heard the parable of the starving baker? Once upon a time, there was a baker renowned for his delightful pastries and delicious breads who took great pride in feeding his community. As the town’s population grew, so did the demand for his baked goods. The baker, determined meet this need, started working harder. He…
Youth Sports is a Journey (And We Have Lots to Be Grateful For)
This week I wanted to share with you some thoughts I recently sent to my local youth soccer club. I wrote these as I was working in the Middle East, visiting a series of international schools and doing coach, parent and leadership education in Abu Dhabi, Dubai and Kuwait. It was…
“Winning’s the Great Deodorant” (But That is Not Always a Good Thing)
Legendary NFL coach John Madden was once asked about the importance of winning in professional football. His answer is one of my favorite quotes: “I’ve always said winning’s the great deodorant, and conversely, when you have a bad record, everything stinks, and everything starts to unravel, and everything falls apart.”…
Great Athletes Have a Humble Heart
(This week we wanted to share another chapter from the leadership section of our new book The Champion Teammate: Timeless lessons to Connect, Compete and Lead in Sports and Life. This chapter is about humility, and shares some great stories of legendary athletes who were so incredibly humble and willing…
Getting Better vs. Getting Seen: The Conundrum That Derails Many Promising Young Athletes
“Thanks Coach, we had an amazing time in this program, but you just don’t do enough showcases and we are going to miss getting seen by college coaches. We will be joining Club X.” “But isn’t your daughter still in middle school?” “Yes, but they say if we don’t join…
Be a Thermostat, not a Thermometer: Sample Chapter from our New Book “The Champion Teammate”
(Jerry and John are so excited to announce the upcoming release of our new book The Champion Teammate: Timeless Lessons to Connect, Compete and Lead in Sports in Life. Throughout our lives, we will be part of many teams. From sports teams to community groups to our dining room table,…
Is FOMO Ruining Youth Sports?
(Yesterday I had the opportunity to present to a group of orthopedics, physical therapists, athletic trainers and coaches on FOMO: Fear of Missing Out, and why I think it is driving early specialization, burnout and dropout for our young athletes. I figured it was a good excuse to share an…
How Adults Take the Joy Out of Sports (And How We Can Fix It)
We have all seen it. I was recently watching a 12-year-old boys soccer game, and I saw it again. Like a deer in the headlights, the left defender on the blue team was seemingly stranded on the field and unsure where to go or what to do. He turned to…
How Labeling Young Athletes ‘Talented’ Limits Athletic Achievement (And Why We Should Ignore It)
The word “talent” gets thrown around quite often in youth sports circles, but what exactly does it mean? And do we really know what talent looks like, what its components are, how to properly develop it, and how labeling kids talented at a young age can actually limit their achievement?…
Our 2022 Books of the Year: And the Winner is DO HARD THINGS by Steve Magness
Every year for 10 years we have released our favorite books of the year, and this year we had an amazing assortment of books that crossed our path. We are so blessed that all of these authors also took the time to join us on the Way of Champions Podcast…
Confidence CANNOT be Given; it Has to be EARNED!
Don’t we all wish our children were more confident? Don’t we wish there was a magic confidence pill, or some special words that we could say to our children that would have them step into the arena bursting with the belief that they could accomplish any task? And is there…
Creating the Ideal Learning Environment
I have been on the road the last few weeks, visiting with some high performance teams and coaches across numerous sports from New York to Belgium to Vermont and finally, Colorado. In that time, regardless of whether these coaches were working with adults or children, similar questions kept popping up.…
Timeout! The Importance of Downtime for Youth Sports Families
“But dad, we have so much going on!” “Do we have to go mom? I want to play in another tournament?” “Will we miss out if we don’t do the extra private training?” Have you heard these types of sentiments before from your spouse or your children? I know I…
Is Your Child’s Youth Sports Experience Transactional or Transformational?
This week I am headed to Chicago to speak at a youth sports conference called Rev, for clients of one of our partners, the web development and online registration organization Sprocket Sports. I have been tasked with moderating a panel called “The Secret Sauce of Taking Your Club from Transactional…
Confidence is a Feeling, Competence is a Behavior
We have all seen the interview many times. The star athlete comes off the field or court, and the first question the interviewer asks is “You were looking really confident out there today, what was your secret?” We might even say the same thing to our own young athletes that…
Don’t Win the Race to the Bottom During Tryout Season
“My kid is so stressed, she is so worried she won’t be able to play with her friends anymore,” a mom recently wrote us. “We have friends who tell us their daughter is physically ill with worry. She is 10!” Sound familiar anyone? It is the annual rite of passage…
Can You Over-Sample in Youth Sports?
Every month we get interesting emails and messages from our Changing the Game family, and once in a while we get one that is worth throwing to the community. We got an email from a set of parents, both former NCAA Division I athletes, with three young children highly involved…
Celebrating the Life of a True Coaching Mentor
Teenage girls. If you have ever coached a group of teenage girls, you know how incredibly wonderful they can be. Happy, fun, so much love and bonding, matching headbands, energy and passion. You also know that they are coming into their own as young women. They start to form cliques.…
Our 2021 Books of the Year
Well, as 2021 rolls into December it is that time of year again, time to highlight our favorite new books of 2021. This has certainly been a year for reading and reflection, and our sports world continues to be turned upside down by the ongoing pandemic. Many coaches, parents, and…
The One Sentence That Can Change an Athlete’s Life
As coaches, sometimes we wish we had a magic power, a word or phrase that could get an athlete to focus, commit, and excel. Yes, we must invest and connect with them. Yes, it takes time to build trust and to build a relationship that can bear the burden of…
How to Help Your Athletes Build Great Habits and Break the Bad Ones
“Habits are the compound interest of self-improvement. They are the foundation of mastery.” – James Clear “I wish my kid would practice more on his own,” said one mom to me at a recent talk. “He could be so much better if he applied himself.” “I hear you,” said her…
How to Be a Great Teammate
In my daily conversations with coaches of every level, from grassroots to the professional ranks, we often talk about a topic that is near and dear to our hearts: what makes someone a valuable member of the team. What are the qualities that make an athlete recruitable? Is it speed?…
Choosing the Hard Right in Youth Sports
As many long time listeners and readers know, I am a graduate of Fordham University in New York City. This past Monday, on the occasion of Martin Luther King, Jr., Day, one of my former teachers and current university president Father Joseph McShane sent a letter to alumni about courage.…
Approaching 2021 with Grace, Patience and Kindness
As we wind down the year 2020, a year in which Dictionary.com named the word “unprecedented” as its word of the year, I have been using some holiday downtime to think about 2021, and how to improve upon the challenges of the past 9 months. And the word I keep…
Our 2020 Books of the Year
It is that time of year again, when we highlight our favorite books of the past year. This year we are a bit “coach-centric” in our list but we all have coaches in our lives that I am confident would benefit from one of these books. And if you are…
Two Magic Words
“What were you doing out there?” screamed an angry dad. “I told you to shoot!” yelled the coach to the shell shocked young boy who just passed to his teammate instead of fulfilling the coaches wishes. “He doesn’t know what he is doing” says a third parent, shaking his head…
Youth Sports is a Journey, Not a Destination
COVID. Demonstrations and riots. Divisive politics. Home schooling. Wildfires. Smoke. As a coach for 30 years, and a parent for nearly 15 of those years, I am probably like most of you in that I cannot remember a crazier, more stressful, anxiety inducing year than 2020. It seems every time we…
Great Coaches are Both Firm AND Flexible
I was reading through some of the comments on some old blog posts recently, as they are often enlightening. I came across a few comments, such as: “Are we supposed to be a competitive club, or have fun?” one coach asked. “Are we teaching these kids and demanding excellence, or…
How to be a Great Sports Parent During and After COVID-19
Many years ago, when I first started Changing the Game Project, I travelled to Los Angeles to speak at a parent education day for The Brentwood School. The keynote speaker that day was psychologist and author Madeline Levine. She has written two NY Times bestsellers on parenting (The Price of…
Why Volunteer Coaches Need to be More Like Volunteer Firefighters
If you are a longtime reader of this blog, you may know that my father was a firefighter on the New York Fire Department many years ago. His father was a firefighter. My brother was a firefighter. But what you may not know is that after seven years on the…
What Will You Be Proud of When We Return to Sports?
Tony Robichaux was a legendary collegiate baseball coach upon his passing in 2019. His teams at McNeese St and Louisiana won numerous conference titles, well over 1000 games, and made over a dozen trips to the NCAA Championships, including a College World Series in 2000. The other day I came…
Reimagining Youth Sports in a Post-COVID-19 World
“When do you think we will play again, coach?” “Will we finish our season, coach?” “I sure miss practice, even the fitness!” “What about tryouts?” If you are part of a school or youth sports club, these are the questions you have been fielding on a daily basis. Since the…
I Already Miss Watching My Kids Play
It’s Tuesday, March 17, at 3pm. It has been a week since I got to watch my kids play soccer, at their final practice before the state of Oregon cancelled all group gatherings and sporting events. It has been 10 days since I watched their last games. And like all…
Another Great Coach Bites the Dust. How Sad!
Yesterday was a tough day. It was a tough day because I had a conversation with another coaching friend who had lost his job. He was not fired for doing anything illegal. He was not fired for anything inappropriate. He was not fired for bullying or demeaning behavior. He was…
Are Sports Fundamentally Good?
I recently came across a great quote from the poet TS Elliot, who says “Nothing pleases people more than to go on thinking what they have always thought, and at the same time imagine that they are thinking something new and daring: it combines the advantage of security with the…
Why Do I Coach? An Excerpt from EVERY MOMENT MATTERS
People don’t buy what you do; they buy why you do it. And what you do simply proves what you believe. —Simon Sinek We spend the vast majority of our time in traditional coaching education learning the tools to run a great practice and coach in the competition. Intuitively, this…
Our 2019 Books of the Year
“The only thing that will prevent you from getting better is thinking that you know it all.” That was the advice Fergus Connelly gave us on our podcast this year, and it is a great concept to think about as 2019 draws to a close. So how do you get…
Designing Culture Through the Legacy Notebook
Article by James Leath (jamesleath.com) and reposted with permission. “Because your experience is valuable, and tradition shouldn’t graduate.” – James Leath A few years ago, as the Head of Leadership at IMG Academy in Bradenton, Florida, I held an end of season meeting with the seniors of that team. I…
Do Sports Actually Teach Character?
Head to any sports field this afternoon, and you will hear whistles blaring and coaches urging on their players to work harder and compete more. You will see exhausted athletes with their hands on their knees being implored to do one more set, or a coach shout “do it again”…
When You Attend a Youth Sports Event, Know Your Role!
Imagine the perfect summer day. The sun is out, The birds are chirping. And a bunch of 7 year old boys scurry about a baseball diamond, trying to hit, run, throw and catch, all the while smiling and giggling and doing what 7-year-old boys do. But then the game gets…
Range: Why Generalists Triumph in a Specialized World, our Favorite book so far in 2019
Yes, it is summer, which means it’s time to sit back, relax and catch up on some reading. Well, you are in luck, because this has been a banner year for some new releases, plus some 2018 books I am just getting to. Let’s go! Best Book (so far) of…
A Coach’s Words Can Change a Life
(This article was submitted by Pete Jacobson, a varsity HS coach in New York for almost 20 years. He also works with coaches of all levels through WinSmarter to help them get better at what they do, have a greater impact and go home happy.) “When you hit your leg…
Don’t Steal the Reps from Your Athletes
Imagine you went to your child’s algebra class and got to be a fly on the wall. Imagine the teacher was being assessed on your child’s test results in two days. Now imagine that instead of teaching your child how to problem solve, and the concepts behind doing algebra problems,…
Why Do We Think Physical Punishment is a Good Teaching Tool in Sports?
The other day I got an interesting question via email from a mom of a young travel volleyball player. Her daughter and her team had missed quite a few serves their previous tournament. There were serves into the net. There were serves wide of the court. There were serves over…
An Open Letter to the Out of Control Sports Parent Sitting Next to Me in the Stands
Dear Out of Control Sports Parent, You. Yeah, you. The one shouting “Get the rebound!!!” to your kid. The one with the heart palpitating so loudly that you cannot contain yourself. The one yelling and complaining about the coach. The one hollering at the 13-year-old referee. The one angry at…
The Professionalization of Youth Sports
“The Fulham coaches distilled the threat, defined the tactics and dictated the tempo at which they expected their team to play. It was a tough European tournament, featuring Paris Saint-Germain, Monaco, Inter Milan, Bayern Munich, Anderlecht and Feyenoord, but it was deemed to be winnable.” So begins Chapter 2 of…
The Best Sports Books of 2018
Yes, it is that time of year again, time for our favorite books of 2018, and time to get the coaches, parents and athletes in our lives some good holiday reading material. The Changing the Game Project team is always reading, always listening, and always learning, in order to help…
No Excuse for the Abuse: Don’t Tolerate Negative Coaching
“Where did we ever get the crazy idea that to get children to do better, first we have to make them feel worse?” – Jane Nelsen Early in my coaching career, I was speaking with a parent of an athlete about the methods employed by her daughter’s coach. The parent…
Our Children Become the Messages They Hear the Most
Picture the young swimmer stepping up to the starting blocks in a championship race. What is he thinking in that moment? Visualize the soccer player, stepping up to take the deciding penalty kick. What is going through her head? Think of the basketball player, standing on the free throw line…
“When I’m Running, it Feels like I am not Disabled:” Lessons on Being a Great Teammate from the Best Team You’ve Never Heard Of
Dick Hoyt was not a runner in any sense of the word. By his own accounts, he could not remember the last time he had run more than a mile. So when his son Rick told him in the spring of 1977 that he wanted to participate in a 5-mile…
Are you a Blockbuster Coach, or are you a Netflix Coach?
Have you ever heard of Blockbuster Video? Have you seen one lately? There is a reason only one Blockbuster store remains today. Let me explain. In 1992 I was a senior in High School playing for one of the top high school soccer teams in the state. We were successful…
Why is Abusive Coaching Tolerated in Sports?
On May 29, 2018, University of Maryland lineman Jordan McNair ran the last sprint of his life. After a series of 110 yd runs, during which he became disoriented and had trouble standing, McNair collapsed and died of heat stroke. He had a body temperature of 106 degrees in the…
How Do I Balance My WHY with the Demands of the Youth Sports Culture?
“This season was a disaster.” A former colleague of mine said to me recently. “We had a ton of fun, the kids learned a lot of new skills and gelled as a team, but we didn’t win as many games as last season.” “Fun and learning are the two primary…
“Make Failure Your Fuel”: How to Help Your Athletes Learn from Adversity
In May 2018, retired US Women’s National Soccer team star Abby Wambach gave the commencement address to 600 women from Barnard College in New York City. Wambach, the all-time leading scorer for Team USA, an Olympic and World Cup champion, and an inspirational athlete known for playing with passion and…
Our Favorite Books for Summer 2018
Every year, as summer rolls around, we give you the list of our favorite reads of the year so far. Between Memorial Day, Fathers Day, and that upcoming vacation I hope you are taking, it’s a great time to catch up on some reading. There have been some great new…
Parenting and Coaching The Perfectionist Athlete
Last week, we received a question that we get often, so we thought it would make a great blog: “I was wondering if you could provide some advice. My son is 8 years old and plays on a travel baseball team. [He is ] blessed with athleticism. He’s fast and…
In Youth Sports, there is no LTAD without STAE
“Imagine youth sports was a room. On one end of the room, there is a door where everyone enters. At the other end, there is another door where everyone leaves.” So began a long conversation I had with Peter Hugg, the Head of Football (soccer) for Football New South Wales…
Can Youth Sports be Both Fun and Competitive?
I got an email from a distraught parent the other day. She described a scene where the coach was screaming at the girls after a loss. She was beside herself at how the coach treated the girls. He was demeaning, he was loud and scary, and he had lost perspective…
How to Make Coaching a True Profession
“It ain’t what you know that gets you in trouble. It’s what you know that just ain’t true.” – Mark Twain “What makes you a professional?” That was the question Dr. Richard Bailey, Head of Research at the International Council of Sport Science and Physical Education, posed to me and…
When Will Youth Sports Actually Serve the Needs of Youth?
In late February I was traveling and speaking in Sydney and Perth, Australia, working for a variety of sports organizations including the Football (Soccer) Federation of Australia, Football New South Wales, the Western Australia Department of Sports and Recreation, and the WA Aussie Rules Football Committee. While on site, I…
Pound the Rock! What the San Antonio Spurs Can Teach Us About Getting 1% Better Every Day
One of the most successful sporting franchises across the globe the last few decades is the San Antonio Spurs of the NBA. With five NBA titles since 1999, 22 overall division titles, having won at least 50 games for 18 consecutive seasons, and having missed the playoffs only 4 times…
Winning the Race to the Right Finish Line in Youth Sports
Kevin McLaughlin, USA Hockey’s Director of Youth Hockey Development, was not looking forward to opening his email in January 2009. He knew it was going to be full of angry posts. He knew he and his colleagues at USA Hockey would be accused of destroying the game and taking the…
The Culture Code: Our 2017 Book of the Year (Plus Other Staff Picks)
It’s that time of year again, our final blog where we review our favorite books of 2017. There were some amazing books out there this year, and the choices were tough. This year, we also brought in some staff favorites to add to our master list. Hopefully, you can find…
The One Question All Coaches Should Ask Their Athletes
Coaches, imagine if there was a way to gain insight, understanding, and connection with your athletes by asking a simple question? There is. let me explain how. A few years back, I coached a talented, yet underperforming sixteen-year-old girl I will call Maddy. She was incredibly inconsistent in her play…
The “Power of Moments” in Youth Sports
The Magic Castle Hotel is one of the top three rated hotels in Los Angeles. Of its nearly 3000 reviews, 93% rate it very good or excellent, putting it above properties such as The Four Seasons and the Ritz Carlton. Yet, as you flip through the photos online, you don’t…
Performance is a Behavior, NOT an Outcome!
Last week I received the following email (edited for anonymity). We get calls and emails like this quite often from amazing, passionate coaches who are trying to make a difference. Take a read: Dear John, I’m currently a head football coach…I took over the program last January after being on…
A Final Game of H-O-R-S-E
A few years back, my wife Lauren and I took our kids back for one final visit to her childhood home in Fairport, NY. Her parents were preparing to sell their house and move to a warmer climate, and we took the opportunity to fly across the country to say…
Google it! What Youth Sports Can Learn from the Tech Giant About Building Great Teams
110-2. 24-0. Headed into the 2004 Olympic Games, the Men’s USA Basketball team was 110-2 all-time. They were 24-0 since the introduction of the 1992 “Dream Team”(NBA-era). The team consisted of current and future NBA stars. The best of the best. The greatest players from the greatest league in the…
Looking for Answers? Get Our FREE Booklet With Links to Our Most Popular Articles for Parents, Coaches, Athletes and Youth Sports Organizations
Here at Changing the Game Project, every week we get a call or email that says “remember that article you wrote about…? We want to use it in our newsletter and we can’t find it. What was it called?” Well, after four years of publishing thousands of words a month,…
How to “Win at Losing” and our Other Favorite Books of 2017
As the summer holidays roll around for those of us in the northern hemisphere, it is a great time to do some reading. Twice a year we compile a list of the books we have enjoyed in the fields of athlete development, leadership, coaching, and parenting, and share them with…
When Will What We Know Change What We Do in Youth Sports?
“My daughter and I had to miss her grandfather’s funeral when she was 12 for a cheerleading competition.” I had to read that twice to be sure what I was reading. This was an actual comment we received recently on Facebook. We receive a lot of heartbreaking stories from readers,…
How Would You Spend $100 Million to Improve Your Favorite Sport? My Advice for US Soccer
What would you do with $100 million to improve the sport you love? It’s kind of a magic wand question, isn’t it? You have enough money to make a significant impact in a sport on every level, how do you spend it? Recently in the news, it has been reported…
A Case for Nurture Over Nature
“Your daughter is so beautiful.” The kind woman said, smiling at my 18-year-old daughter. “Thanks, she got her mother’s looks.” I said reflexively. Then I cringed. That’s my “go to response”. Anytime I receive a compliment on my daughter’s looks, I immediately reply about her genetic connection to her mother.…
Can We Shift the Paradigm in Youth Sports?
I was recently in Ohio for a family event. At this event, my father and his friends began sharing stories of their childhood. Everyone shared stories of their days of triumph on the sporting fields in their small Midwest town. As the event progressed, it evolved into a full on…
Lionel Messi and the Will to Compete
Lionel Messi lay battered on the turf. As he raised his head from the grass, he spit out a mouthful of blood and a tooth. He’d just taken an elbow to the face, one of many kicks, elbows, and bruises he would endure that day. Soon after another player was…
The Talent That Whispers
The scouts snickered. They looked at the time again. To this day the 5.28 second 40 yard dash time is one of the slowest for quarterbacks in the history of the NFL combine. His 24.5 inch vertical leap didn’t have them lining up at his door either. He had been…
It’s Time to End the Sideline Sportsanity
As soon as I stepped out of my car in the parking lot, I could hear it. It was a beautiful Saturday afternoon of travel soccer, but there it was. You know what I’m talking about: that sometimes beautiful, often times excruciating cacophony of sounds that we have come to…
Should My Child Play Up? The Do’s and Don’ts of Moving Kids to Older Age Groups
Manchester United’s Carrington Training Center is not only one of the finest youth soccer academies in the world. On every field, the future of the club is evident, as aspiring young players dodge, weave, pass and move the United way. At the same time, everywhere you turn you stare at…
Don’t Turn Your Young Athlete Into a Mini Me
“Dad, am I a disappointment to you?” My son asked, choking back tears. I stopped dead in my tracks. We were walking out of a local amusement park on our way to the car. We had spent the day at the park to bond. It seems the plan backfired. I…
Is “Fear of Missing Out” Ruining Youth Sports?
I remember the day I coached my son TJ’s first soccer game. He was only five, and I was so proud, so excited, and couldn’t wait for him to play the game I loved. There was one problem. He didn’t want to play. When the game was about to start,…
Developing Warriors, not Winners, is the Path to Excellence
(This week’s blog is written by Reed Maltbie, our new Chief Content Officer and Lead Presenter for Changing the Game Project. If you haven’t seen Reed present for us yet, check out his amazing TED talk on the lasting power of a coach’s words. Drop him a line at [email protected] to say…
The Way of the Champion
All-American. World-champion. Greatest shooter on the planet. Most Valuable Player…twice. Yes, I am talking about Steph Curry, the all-world guard for the Golden State Warriors. These are the things we all say about him – we all know about him – when the lights are shining brightly. What about the…
An Open Letter from the Back Seat
Dear Mom and Dad I wanted to start this letter by saying I love you, and I know you mean well. I appreciate all the time and energy you put into taking me to my games and practices, and I know you sacrifice a lot to do it. I also…
The Unspoken Problem in Sports
(This week’s blog was written by Alecko Eskandarian (@alecko11), former US National Team player and current Assistant Coach of the NY Cosmos of the NASL. This article originally appeared 11/18/16 on the Players Tribune and they have graciously granted us permission to reprint it. We have read many articles about…
Why Kids Play Sports
“What do you think is going to change in the next ten years?” That is a question that Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos gets all the time. He thinks that is an interesting question, but not the best one people could ask. “I almost never get the question: ‘What’s not going…
Coaches, Stop ‘Dealing with Parents’ and Start Engaging Them!
(This article was written by Nate Sanderson and originally appeared on Breakthrough Basketball. Nate is a great friend of Changing The Game Project and coach of the Iowa State Champion Springville Girls Basketball Team. We highly encourage every coach and parent to read this and institute this in your team).…
Our 2016 Books of the Year
“You cannot open a book without learning something.” – Confucius Yes, it is that time of year again, the time where our staff shares some of our favorite reads in the world of coaching, parenting, and athlete development. We are all avid readers and lifelong learners, and every year we…
The Rule of One: How One Person, One Comment, One Time Can Change a Life Forever
I remember it like it was yesterday. I was a junior in high school, and sat three rows back, middle row of my English literature class at St Anthony’s High School in New York. Brother Jeff, a Franciscan brother who was a pleasant combination strict and jovial, was my teacher.…
Four Words That Can Change the Culture of Youth Sports
If you have ever flown Southwest Airlines, you know that they do things a bit differently. If you ask an employee of the airline what that difference is, they will tell you one word: culture. The culture of Southwest is one they have worked very hard to cultivate, and every…
8 Coaching Mistakes I Wish I Never Made
In 2002, I received a phone call from Patrick, a former high school player I had coached. He had graduated college and was applying to medical school. “Coach,” he said, “I just wanted to let you know that I am studying for my medical school exams, and it is really…
Let’s Stop the Early Sport Specialization Madness!
“I have a question,” said a mother recently at one of my speaking engagements. “I have an 8-year-old son who loves soccer. But the only soccer team in our town requires that he play all year round, and he still wants to play other sports. What are we to do?”…
Yes, I Do Play My Favorites
(Article written by James Leath (@jamesleath)) “I am sick and tired of coaches playing favorites” a parent once told me at a speaking event. “A coach should be completely impartial. It teaches the wrong message when he or she only plays favorites. Am I right?” I smiled, took a breath…
An Open Letter to My Dad, who Makes Me Want to Quit Sports
Dear Dad, I was afraid to say this to your face after the game today, but I was thinking that maybe you could stop coming to my games for a while. It doesn’t seem that fun for you anyway, and I know it’s not fun for me when you are…
The Extra Mile
The extra mile is a lonely place, but it is the only path to greatness. There are no fans lining that mile. No cameras. No bright lights. Most of your teammates won’t join you there, because your dreams belong to you, not them. Many of your “friends” will tell you…
Dear Potential Recruit, Your Talent Only Gets You So Far
Contributed by James Leath (@jamesleath) “He is going to be shocked we no longer want him.” “Come again?” I asked the college assistant coach seated across from me at lunch. “You flew across the country to meet him, and now you won’t recruit him anymore?” The coach had recently stopped…
3 Questions That Turn Losing into Learning
“Do you want to win every game you play for the rest of your life?” That was a question that Olympic gold medalist and current USA Women’s Volleyball team head coach Karch Kiraly asked his team as they prepared for the 2014 World Championships. “Because we can,” he told them.…
The Ostrich Effect: Why We Ignore Our Coaching Problem, and How to Fix It
“Come on, you pachyderms,” boomed my first soccer coach, Tom Breit, with a big grin on his face. “Squash those bugs! Move your feet. Quicker, quicker! Come on O’Sullivan, is that as fast as you can go?” Calling us baby elephants? Telling us to squish bugs? What was going on…
Chapters: How it Feels to NOT Make the Olympic Team
(This blog was posted here recently by Cassidy Lichtman, an NCAA All-American at Stanford and a member of the USA National Women’s Volleyball team. She wrote it after pouring her heart and soul into making the 2016 Olympic team…and falling agonizingly short. It captures her huge disappointment in not being…
Never Stop Learning: 3 Essential New Books for Parents and Coaches
This week we lost a true coaching legend, Pat Summit. Summit was an 8x national champion and never had a losing season at the University of Tennessee, but those were not her most impressive statistics. She valued academics, and being a lifelong learner, and as a result, every single one…
Life Lessons from my “Old School” Sports Dad
I remember the conversation like it was yesterday. I was a sophomore in high school, and I was mad. I was offended. I was aggrieved… I had been benched. When I got home from school, I wanted someone to tell me how I was right, and the coach was wrong.…
3 Ways Coaches Can Inspire Their Athletes
A few nights ago I went to a graduation. Not a high school or a college graduation, but one far smaller, and far more personal. In fact, there were only seven kids, one of which was my 9-year-old son TJ. He and six others were being recognized by their amazing…
It’s Time for the NCAA to Stop the Early Recruiting Insanity
I recently received a phone call from a friend who is one of the national directors of coaching for a major US sport governing body. He told me the story of a recent phone call his office received from a distraught parent: “We just had tryout for our local club…
The Accountability Problem in Youth Sports
“Thanks so much for your talk the other day,” wrote a coach from Calgary, Alberta to us recently. “It was so refreshing to hear that message, especially in light of the news I returned home to.” “My friend spent the weekend coaching his son at a spring hockey tournament for…
Is Your Kid’s Coach a Bully?
“I think my kid’s coach is a bully, and I don’t know what to do,” a distraught parent named Dan said to me the other day. “My kid hates a sport he used to love. He has been called things by his coach that no kid should ever be called.…
Why Sports Matter
In February 2016 I was speaking at an all day workshop in Montrose CO, and as I was finishing my morning setup the participants began arriving. It was the usual collection of coaches, parents, city recreation administrators, city officials and some younger kids decked out in the gear of their…
The Rocky Road of Excellence
“How many of you want to be a college athlete?” I asked this question to 3,000 middle school students in Southern California recently. In all, about 1,000 kids raised their hands. “What about an artist? A singer? What about a musician?” Maybe 500 students raised their hands. “What about running…
What is Your Club’s D.N.A.?
(This weeks blog is written by Todd Beane, Founder of TOVO International. Todd is the co-founder of Cruyff Football and Senior Advisor to the Cruyff Institute, and has consulted for FC Barcelona, Ajax Amsterdam, Chivas Guadalajara, Melbourne City FC, Mamelodi Sundowns, Austrian Football Federation) “We pretty much let the coaches…
Raising the Bar in Youth Sports
“Have I ever told you about the defining moment of my coaching career?” long time University of Portland baseball coach Chris Sperry asked me the other day over lunch. “It is a speech that changed everything for me at the 1996 American Baseball Coaches Association convention.” “No, please tell,” I…
Does Youth Sports Get the Math All Wrong?
“I did not know there would be math on this test,” is something I say (jokingly) when I get a difficult question at my speaking engagements. Recently, I received an email from a frantic mom, and it got me thinking about math. Yes, math. When it comes to our current sporting…
3 Words Every Athlete Needs to Hear
By James Leath “STOP LOOKING AT YOUR PHONE!” yells Tasha, a point guard on the 6th grade YMCA basketball team I was coaching. Immediately, I smile and start to explain to her that I forgot my watch and I needed to make sure we were on schedule. Tasha rolled her…
Our 2015 Books of the Year
All great leaders, great coaches, great athletes, and great parents are lifelong learners. Every great coach I have met has been a lifelong student of coaching, leadership, psychology and more. Here at the Changing the game Project, we are always looking for the latest and greatest information on talent development,…
A Letter to My Son’s Coach
(This article by Mary Ann Ware first appeared here on her amazing blog and is reprinted with permission) To My Son’s Soccer Coach: Last weekend, after the final game of the season, you posed with my son and his seven teammates in front of the goal for some team pictures.…
The Secret Ingredient of Great Coaching
“I just can’t figure it out,” an exasperated coach said to me recently. “One day we are flying around the field, and the next it looks like we’ve never played together before. Why does this happen?” “Do you think your players lost all their skill?” I asked? “Do you think…
Redefining Success: 8 Tips for Being a Great Sports Parent
By James Leath “When did parenting get to be so stressful?” began a recent post on the Changing the Game Project Facebook page. “I worry that if I don’t provide them with the best equipment, or get them on the best team, or take them to every camp or tournament,…
I Never Thought it Would End THIS Way
By Karrick Dyer (this originally appeared on www.KarrickDyer.com and is reprinted with permission of @KarrickD) For anyone who has ever coached youth sports of any kind, from pee-wee to middle school, and even high school sports in some cases………I have a deep question that has been floating in my mind…
The One Quality Great Teammates Have in Common
By John O’Sullivan “Coach, can I talk to you?” “Sure,” I said. “What’s on your mind today Michael?” “Well, I just want to know what I can do so I get to start more games and get more playing time as a center midfielder. I don’t think I am showing…
The Difference Between Winning and Losing
By James Leath (this first appeared on his blog at www.JamesLeath.com) A former student athlete of mine was awarded a full ride to play NCAA D1 football and he called me recently, just to talk. Calls from former athletes are a huge highlight in any coach’s day. “Coach, what is…
Release Your Child to the Game!
“I don’t know where to turn,” an exasperated dad recently told me after a speaking event. “My son is fast, and he is skilled. We do lots of extra practice, we go to a private skills coach, we are doing everything it takes to get to the next level, but…
The Great Trophy Debate: Do We Need Participation Awards?
“Daddy, do we get trophies for playing lacrosse this spring?” my son asked me a few months back. “No, you get to go out and run around and have lots of fun while learning lacrosse,” I said. “OK!” Then he turned and ran out on the field for the start…
Do We Have a Coaching Problem?
ONCE AGAIN, recent news brought us a sad story from the world of youth sports. In the Little League World Series for softball, a team from South Snohomish, WA was found to have purposely given less than their best effort in a game, in order to eliminate a potential competitor…
3 Myths that are Destroying the Youth Sports Experience for our Kids
Every year, I travel throughout the US, Canada, Asia and Europe, and give well over 100 presentations to parents and coaches. I speak to tens of thousands of people about youth sports, coaching, and athlete development. Every time I do a live event, I get asked the following question: “If…
An Uncommon Man: Life Lessons from a True Sporting Role Model
Back in the summer of 2000, I was just completing my first year as an assistant men’s soccer coach at the University of Vermont. Between sessions of summer camp, I often ducked out of the heat by having lunch in the cool confines of UVM’s famed Gutterson Field House, watching…
Jordan Spieth’s Multi-Sport Path to Golf Stardom
On June 21, at the ripe old age of 21, Jordan Spieth become just the sixth golfer in history to win both The Masters and The US Open in the same year, joining some pretty illustrious company such as Woods, Nicklaus, Palmer and Hogan. He must have played only golf…
Help, My Child is a Late Bloomer: 5 Tips for Overcoming the “Relative Age Effect” in Youth Sports
“Here is my question,” a mother concerned with her 10 year-old son’s sports experience recently wrote me. “I am not afraid that my son will quit sports by the time he is 13. I am afraid that he will be denied the opportunity to play. My son is coordinated and…
Why Kids Quit Sports
“I just can’t take it anymore coach,” a talented but underperforming player named Kate told me a few years back. “I think I am done playing.” My mind went through all the reasons this might be happening: burnout, other interests, team dynamics, I was too hard on her, the gamut.…
The 4 Biggest Problems in Youth Sports Today
When you run an organization such as the Changing the Game Project, you hear many youth sports stories from parents, coaches, and players. Some stories are absolutely heartbreaking, others inspiring. Recently I encountered the absurd. Many of us have seen the news about a volleyball player from Washington DC who…
The Adultification of Youth Sports
The other day I had a conversation with a coaching colleague about the state of youth sports. I stated that the emphasis on travel sports and playing multiple games per day for young children was hurting kids and damaging sports. “I agree with what you are saying,” he said, “but…
What Youth Sports can Learn from Video Games
On a recent sunny Saturday, I took my kids out to the local park to play soccer with some friends. They ran, they jumped, and they competed hard. They laughed, they schemed, and they made the rules. Everyone played, no one was excluded from the game, and all the kids…
The Perils of Single-Sport Participation
For the last few days, my email and social media accounts have been lit up by a simple image first shared with me on Twitter by @ohiovarsity. It is amazing because the image portrays something that is widely known among experts, widely discussed in coaching circles, and has certainly been…
The Enemy of Excellence in Youth Sports
“My daughter is the tallest fourth grader in her class and loves to play basketball,” said a father to me recently. “Sadly, I know that she will ultimately grow to be of average height. Since she is now only allowed to rebound and give the ball to shorter-ball handler players…
Faster, Higher, Stronger: An Interview with Mark McClusky
Every day the limits of the human body and being pushed. From sport science to nutrition, and from psychology to neuroscience, elite athletes are being trained differently, and are pushing the boundaries of performance. In his fantastic new book Faster, Higher, Stronger: How Sports Science Is Creating a New Generation…
The Best Youth Sports Books of 2014
As you may know, I am an avid reader, especially when it comes to youth sports, psychology, coaching, leadership and sport science. I buy a lot of books, and I drive my wife crazy because our bookshelves are overflowing, yet still I purchase more. And every year, I like to…
The Tipping Point in Youth Sports
“What happens to us parents and coaches,” I often get asked, “that turns us from sensible, relaxed people to stressed out adults roaming up and down sports sidelines and screaming at every play?” It is a question I ponder a lot, especially as I often get to watch my young…
Youth Sports Coaching: Not a Job, but a Calling!
So they call you Coach, huh? Have you ever stopped to consider what that means? You have taken on one of the most beautiful, powerful, and influential positions a person can ever have. Some people may call it a job, and others a profession, but in reality, being a great…
Is Social Media Ruining Your Youth Sports Experience?
Do you turn get on Facebook, or Pinterest, or Instagram, and ever think to yourself “Everyone’s kid has a trophy, won their big game, and is having great success, but mine is not?” Does it drive you nuts when everyone else’s kids seem to be achieving something remarkable, or looking…
Are Great Coaches Becoming an Endangered Species?
When you are in the coaching profession, one of the things you learn early on is not to take things too personally. Your biggest fans when you win may become your biggest critics when you lose. Your players may love you one moment, and grumble the next, and it is…
The Missing Ingredient in US Talent Development
In 2005, the coaches at one of the top English Premier League Youth Soccer Academies held one of their semiannual meetings to decide upon which players they would keep for the upcoming cycle, and whom they would let go. As they were evaluating their players –many of whom would go…
How to Raise a Lion Chaser!
“Coach, I don’t want to take a penalty shot,” said a very nervous 13 year-old player of mine a few years back. We were in the Oregon Soccer State Cup semifinals, and this talented but not quite confident young girl looked in no mood to take a shot in the…
A Higher Purpose Than Winning
If you put a bunch of top coaches, sport scientists and psychologists in a room together, they may not agree on much. They would agree on one thing though: an overemphasis on winning and competition, instead of practice and development, is detrimental to the long term performance of young athletes.…
FUN is NOT a 4-letter Word!
When I was a kid, my parents taught me to avoid those bad four letter words we all have heard. You know the ones I mean, the ones that you would first hear in school and then think it was OK to use them at home, until you saw that…
Changing the Game in Youth Sports
On April 26, 2014 I had the honor of presenting a talk at TEDx Bend Oregon entitled “Changing the Game in Youth Sports.” The power of the TED platform, and its international recognition as a brand that brings “ideas worth sharing” to the forefront of conversation, was such an incredible…
The Mindset of High-Performers
“I lost my starting spot on the soccer team. I’m just not good at soccer.” “I failed my math test. I’m just not good at math.” Ever heard such a statement form one of your kids? From one of your players? If so, it is very likely that the single…
Starting Your Athletes the Right Way
(A child’s first contact and first impression of a sport goes a long way to determining whether or not he will fall in love with the game. As basketball great Steve Nash says, upon receiving his first ball and playing in his first organized league at age 13, “I felt…
Surviving Tryout Season
Spring and early summer usually bring about an annual rite of passage in youth sports: TRYOUTS! They can be a time of great joy, or tremendous disappointment. Tryouts can be a time filled with pressure, stress, politics and many of the other unsavory aspects of youth sports. They can also…
The Ride Home
One of the saddest things I had to do as a Director of Coaching for numerous soccer clubs was conduct exit interviews, meetings with players whom had decided to leave the club. Children quit sports for a litany of reasons, and my job was always to see what we could…
Three Books That Will Make You a Better Coach
As most of you know, I am an avid reader, and I am always looking for great ideas on athletic development, parenting, and my first passion, coaching. For all you coaches out there, this article is for you (and for any teachers or business people who are trying to improve…
The Race to Nowhere in Youth Sports
“My 4th grader tried to play basketball and soccer last year,” a mom recently told me as we sat around the dinner table after one of my speaking engagements. “It was a nightmare. My son kept getting yelled at by both coaches as we left one game early to race…
The Awesome Power of Sport
“In 2011 we were working in Uganda with 93 children, most of them former child soldiers and victims of the awful Civil War that has ravaged that region for decades,” said Nick Gates, the founder and CEO of Coaches Across Continents (CAC), an organization that is a global leader in…
The Incredibly Massive Importance of Play
Let me be blunt and scream this from the rooftop: the best athletes PLAY sports. They don’t work them, they play them. When sport becomes more work than play, athletes struggle, they grind, and if they cannot get back to playing instead of working, they eventually drop out. From youth…
The 4th Path: Reinventing US Youth Soccer Player Development
When it comes to the development of young soccer players in the United States, many parents and coaches come to that proverbial fork in the road, and are unsure what path to take. Most parents want their child to try many sports, yet are faced with the harsh reality of…
The 10,000 Hour Myth
A myth is a false belief or idea that is widely held. One such myth that has enveloped youth sports is the idea that to become an elite athlete all one needs 10,000 hours of sustained, deliberate training. This is a myth in every sense of the word. I recently…
The Bare Essentials: Three Things Every Athlete Needs to Succeed
Elite performance is determined by a number of factors, amongst them innate talent and genetics, hours of deliberate training, coaching, and luck. But performance is also great affected by what is between an athlete’s ears: mindset. An athlete’s state of mind is perhaps the single greatest factor that affects performance.…
What About the Single Sport Athlete? Specialization Part II
My article on sport specialization, “Is it Wise to Specialize,” prompted quite a bit of discussion, commentary, and controversy, with people chiming in from all across the globe. Certainly the dynamics of single v multiple sport participation, and its effect upon performance, injury, and burnout, is not a settled issue,…
The Armpit of American Youth Sports: “Friday Night Tykes”
The armpit is the part of the body that is dark, stinky, and unattractive. Everyone has one, but no one wants to see it or acknowledge it, and would rather cover it up and move on. The armpit of American youth sports is the culture of win-at-all-costs, uneducated, over the…
Is it Wise to Specialize?
The greatest difference between our children’s sporting experience and our own is the rise of year round, sport specific organizations that ask – even require – season after season of participation in order to stay in the player development pipeline. The pressure to have your child specialize in a single…
To Cheat or Not to Cheat…Is that Even a Question?
“Young players play with a great deal of fairness and sportsmanship. Once they learn how important the game is to adults, they will learn how to cheat.” – Dr. Ron Quinn, Professor of Sports Ethics at Xavier University. My friend Ann Dewitt is a family therapist and parenting expert, as…
5 Thoughts That Will Change Your Youth Sports Experience for the Better
“Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them – work, family, health, friends and spirit – and you’re keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it,…
The Surprising Story of Simon Kjaer: Why Talent Selection Does Not Always Work
In 2004, FC Midtjylland in Denmark set out to establish Scandinavia’s first youth soccer academy. As a new club, it did not have the pick of the litter of Danish soccer talent, which went to bigger, far more established clubs. And as the coaches put together their first team, they…
Rescue Your Kids From “Affluenza”: Teach Them Grit!
The recent news out of Texas, where a 16 year old driver was only given probation for driving drunk and killing four innocent bystanders, popularized a new psychological term in the process. Apparently, parents raising children in wealthy suburbs with little oversight, few rules, and utter indifference to their behavior…
The Most Thought Provoking Sports Books of 2013
Now that I get to make my living as a writer and a speaker, I have many perks. Perhaps my favorite is that I get to write off all of my book purchases as a business expense, research for past and future writing! In 2013, I read a ton of…
Our Biggest Mistake: Talent Selection Instead of Talent Identification
Many youth sports coaches claim to be great talent identifiers, and point to the results of their 11 year all star team as proof. Yet they are not talent identifiers. They are talent selectors. The difference could not be more striking, or more damaging to our country’s future talent pool…
The Missing Ingredient
If you have coached long enough, you have probably said this about a player: “He’s got a lot of talent, but he is just missing something.” I have written on similar subjects in the past, and there has been academic research in this area. In all likelihood, that missing ingredient…
Burn Your Goals!
A couple months ago one of my golfer’s sent me her goals in a text message, and I responded. “I want you to burn those.” I knew my response was harsh, but I had reached a breaking point. EVERYONE WANTS TO WIN. No one is sitting around at the beginning…
Our Unhealthy Obsession with Childhood Athletic Achievement
From the Little League World Series to American Idol, we have an unhealthy obsession with “discovering” the next generation of great youth talent in this country. This is especially true when it comes to sports. I am not saying it is bad to identify talent. Our problem lies in how…
More Important Than Talent
Parents ask me all the time if I think their child has what it takes to play at the college or professional level. They are asking if I think their kid has enough talent. My reply: “How much are your kids willing to suffer?” The answer to that simple question…
Coaches, a Little Common Sense Please!
“My 8 year old had 6 days of soccer last week!” “My 11 year old’s coach said he could not play on any other soccer teams except his. No futsal with his friends, no indoor, nothing but this team.” “My 13 year old was told that if he did not…
Is Losing Stressing You Out? Try This New Mindset to Fix it!
As a young coach, I was convinced that there were only two possible outcomes to a game, winning or losing. Of course, losing was to be avoided at all costs, even if that meant not playing weaker players, benching underperformers, criticizing referees, you name it. Then I started to study…
Are Your Kids Mentally Weak?
Are your kids mentally tough? Can they be pushed to achieve great things, or do they need to be coddled? Do they deal well with disappointment and failure, or do they fear it, and thus avoid challenging situations? Do they fear strict, demanding coaches, or do they thrive on them?…
Mental Toughness Week
Why are we so afraid to challenge kids these days, or to let our kids be challenged? We all know that our greatest accomplishments, the things we are most proud of in our lives, be they building a business, or our family, or athletic achievements, all came with struggle! Nothing…
Is Your Praise Destroying Your Child’s Performance?
This past week on our Facebook page, we had a great discussion on how to praise your athletes, so that the praise would be helpful, and not harmful (yes, it can be harmful) to their development. It was really a great discussion, so I wanted to sum it all up…
Why We Rage: The Science Behind Crazy Parents and Over the Top Coaches
Have you ever noticed when you go to your child’s soccer game that you react one way to bad calls, aggressive fouls, or intense situations in your game, but have little or no reaction to similar situations in the game prior to yours, where you have no emotional stake? Do…
Why Kids Play
One of the great divides in youth sports is the divide between why kids say they play, and why parents and coaches think they play! Lucky for us this issue has been studied numerous times, all over the world, by institutions of higher learning. The results are quite profound. Check…
Trust Your Gut When It Comes To Youth Sports
Every time I speak, I am always approached by parents who tell me that all the pressure and emphasis on winning for their young athlete, all the pressure to commit year round to a sport prior to puberty, just feels wrong. In their heart, they know that their children want…
Empowering and Educating Parents Will Fix the Youth Sports Mess
When I was a child, my father used to jokingly tell my siblings and I that he was convinced we had another brother whom he had never seen, but was quite the trouble maker. This brother, named “Not Me,” seemed to be responsible for every broken, dirty, and disheveled thing…
“Never Stop Learning!” Part III of Three Things Great Coaches and Leaders Do
In part III, I share perhaps the biggest realization I ever had as a coach; the best coaches do not know it all! In fact, they are the first to admit it, and they never stop learning, never stop asking questions, and always are looking for ways to improve. If…
“You Might Need New Friends!” Part II of Three Things Great Coaches and Leaders Do
In Part II of our 3 part series, I relate a simple business adage to sports. In business, it is said that if you take the five people who are your primary business advisers, add up what they make and divide by 5, that is probably what you are making.…
Three Things All Great Coaches and Leaders Do…And You Can Too! Part I
As a coach who has spent nearly two decades studying and learning about leadership, I know that my thinking has evolved immensely on this subject. For those of you who are looking for a few new ideas, or better yet, you are a new coach trying to accelerate the learning…
What Do You Value Most, and Are Youth Sports Delivering For You?
All too often, I see many adults who are involved in youth sports, either as a parent, administrator or a coach, adhere to one set of core values when it comes to family, education, and relationships, and an entirely different set of values when it comes to sports. We value…
“Come on, Ref!” Some Thoughts on Officials, Umpires and Referees
As summer tournament season is upon us, many families are traveling far and wide, and spending hard earned dollars on tournaments and other sports travel. Inevitably, there will be a game or a match where a referee makes a poor decision, or gets a call wrong, and this can often…
Don’t Choke: The Difference Between Playing to Win, and Playing Not to Lose
Is your child a great practice player, but one who struggles to perform in games? Does she score at will in easy games, but cannot find the net in the competitive ones? Does your team play great in meaningless games, but tense up and play poorly when the result matters?…
Are You Setting Goals AND Expectations for Your Athlete? Do You Know the Difference?
As a parent, it is incredibly important that we understand the difference between the goals we set with our children, and the expectations we place upon them. The difference is subtle but very important, for both are crucial tools when it comes to raising high performers. We should place expectations…
Controversial Book for Sports Parents, but Well Worth the Read: The Gold Mine Effect
I am an avid reader, and from time to time I add books to my recommended resources page which I believe will help parents, coaches and adults involved in youth sports. I just finished reading The Gold Mine Effect by Rasmus Ankersen, and I will be adding it to my list. While…
Lionel Messi Talks About the Need to Enjoy Your Sport
In our never ending rush to get our kids on the right team, with the right coach, and positioned to win the big games at very young ages, we have lost sight of the real key to helping our kids perform their best: ENJOYMENT! Before we worry about ten thousand…
Helping our Kids Deal with Injuries
Throughout my coaching career, I got many emails and letters from parents, but one question I was asked often was “How do I deal with my child’s recent injury? He/she is emotional, scared, and unsure about the long road back to recovery.” This is a difficult time for any parent…
Utah Referee’s Death is One More Example of the Need to Change the Game!
The recent tragic death of Utah youth soccer referee Ricardo Portillo has once again highlighted the need to make drastic changes in the youth sports environment. Portillo was killed after being punched in the face by a 17 year old player that had been cautioned on the previous play. Once…
Youth Baseball Gone Mad!
It was quite sad to read the article below regarding the state of elite travel baseball by Ft Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel Reporter Amy Shipley, and to watch the embedded video. It is sad because these parents are clearly well intentioned, and love their boys, but just cannot see the forest through…
My Kid Stopped Trying! What Now?
One of the questions I am often asked is “How do I change my kid’s attitude toward sports? He just does not seem into it anymore, and he is not putting any effort in.” This is a situation that can be very confusing and discouraging for both children and parents,…
The “State” of High Achievers
As parents and coaches of young athletes, we spend a great deal of our time and energy focusing on our children’s performance. We look at their efforts, their results, and their commitment. We help them set goals, and do our part to help them achieve those goals by taking them…
Don’t Neglect the Small Things in 2013
It’s getting close to that time of year when we resolve to make positive changes in the upcoming year: New Year’s Resolution time! Here is a resolution to add to your list. It is not one that will help you lose weight or get fit physically, but it can make…
This Thanksgiving, Express your Gratitude
“If we magnified blessings as much as we magnify disappointments, we would all be much happier.” ― John Wooden, UCLA Basketball Coach As the holiday season approaches, we are often reminded to be thankful for all our blessings that we have received the past year. As we sit with our…
Five Messages Your Kids Need to Hear
Youth sports can become an all encompassing component of childhood, and for that matter, parenthood. As we shuttle kids to practices, games and tournaments, we can easily forget about the big picture. We can lose sight of the main reasons we put kids in sports in the first place. If…
When Adults Don’t Act Like Adults, Bad Things Happen
I recently read an article in the NY Times by Ken Belson about the suspension of Pop Warner Football coaches in Massachusetts for creating an unsafe playing environment. (Click Here to read Article) The article discusses the penalties imposed on coaches of two teams in a mismatched game, during which 5 players on…
The Problems We Face Part III: Values
Today’s children need youth sports to teach them valuable life lessons and core values more than they have ever needed them in history. As recently as 15 years ago, popular television and music still exemplified many family values that we would consider, positive, such as friendship, caring, and respect, but…
The Problems We Face Part II: Money!
There is an astronomical amount of money being spent on youth sports by parents, as well as huge investments by corporations who profit off of equipment, tournaments, recruiting services, and even live, streaming little league games. This has created amongst parents a ‘keep up with the Joneses mentality” in everything…
Sports Skills do Not Always ‘Just Happen!’
Sports Parenting is an art, and for each and every child and family, there are a variety of parenting styles, methods and ideas that can all lead to the outcome of a positive sports experience, and the creation of a life long athlete. Most of us rely upon our…
The Problems We Face Part I
It is hard to venture out to any youth sports fields these days and not think to ourselves “There is something wrong with this picture.” Youth sports do not look like they did 20 or 30 years ago. Sure there were a few ‘crazy’ coaches and over the top parents,…
Confidence is Earned!
One of the most common questions I got as a coach from parents was “How do I make my kid more confident?” I wish there was an easy answer, but really, there is not. You see, one of the great misconceptions about confidence is that it can be bought, or…