Approaching 2021 with Grace, Patience and Kindness

As we wind down the year 2020, a year in which Dictionary.com named the word “unprecedented” as its word of the year, I have been using some holiday downtime to think about 2021, and how to improve upon the challenges of the past 9 months. And the word I keep coming upon is “grace.” I
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When You Attend a Youth Sports Event, Know Your Role!

Imagine the perfect summer day. The sun is out, The birds are chirping. And a bunch of 7 year old boys scurry about a baseball diamond, trying to hit, run, throw and catch, all the while smiling and giggling and doing what 7-year-old boys do. But then the game gets tense. Parents and coaches started
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“Make Failure Your Fuel”: How to Help Your Athletes Learn from Adversity

In May 2018, retired US Women’s National Soccer team star Abby Wambach gave the commencement address to 600 women from Barnard College in New York City. Wambach, the all-time leading scorer for Team USA, an Olympic and World Cup champion, and an inspirational athlete known for playing with passion and giving her all every time
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WOC #21 Nate Sanderson, Two-Time Iowa High School State Champion Basketball Coach, On The Art of Engaging Parents in a Winning Team Culture

If an athlete’s inner dialogue is made up of the voices they hear most often and most intensely in their daily lives, what are we as parents and coaches saying that can form a champion’s mind? Join us as we talk to Two-time Iowa High School State Basketball Championship winning coach, Nate Sanderson, to discuss
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When Will What We Know Change What We Do in Youth Sports?

“My daughter and I had to miss her grandfather’s funeral when she was 12 for a cheerleading competition.” I had to read that twice to be sure what I was reading. This was an actual comment we received recently on Facebook. We receive a lot of heartbreaking stories from readers, but this one sentence stopped
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A Case for Nurture Over Nature

“Your daughter is so beautiful.” The kind woman said, smiling at my 18-year-old daughter. “Thanks, she got her mother’s looks.” I said reflexively. Then I cringed. That’s my “go to response”. Anytime I receive a compliment on my daughter’s looks, I immediately reply about her genetic connection to her mother. She did get her mom’s
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Can We Shift the Paradigm in Youth Sports?

I was recently in Ohio for a family event. At this event, my father and his friends began sharing stories of their childhood. Everyone shared stories of their days of triumph on the sporting fields in their small Midwest town. As the event progressed, it evolved into a full on discussion about youth sports coaching
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It’s Time to End the Sideline Sportsanity

As soon as I stepped out of my car in the parking lot, I could hear it. It was a beautiful Saturday afternoon of travel soccer, but there it was. You know what I’m talking about: that sometimes beautiful, often times excruciating cacophony of sounds that we have come to know as “cheering for our
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Don’t Turn Your Young Athlete Into a Mini Me

“Dad, am I a disappointment to you?” My son asked, choking back tears. I stopped dead in my tracks. We were walking out of a local amusement park on our way to the car. We had spent the day at the park to bond. It seems the plan backfired. I gathered myself. Inside I was
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Is “Fear of Missing Out” Ruining Youth Sports?

I remember the day I coached my son TJ’s first soccer game. He was only five, and I was so proud, so excited, and couldn’t wait for him to play the game I loved. There was one problem. He didn’t want to play. When the game was about to start, he said, “Dad I don’t
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An Open Letter from the Back Seat

Dear Mom and Dad I wanted to start this letter by saying I love you, and I know you mean well. I appreciate all the time and energy you put into taking me to my games and practices, and I know you sacrifice a lot to do it. I also appreciate when you try to
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Our 2015 Books of the Year

All great leaders, great coaches, great athletes, and great parents are lifelong learners. Every great coach I have met has been a lifelong student of coaching, leadership, psychology and more.  Here at the Changing the game Project, we are always looking for the latest and greatest information on talent development, leadership, building culture, and being
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A Letter to My Son’s Coach

(This article by Mary Ann Ware first appeared here on her amazing blog and is reprinted with permission) To My Son’s Soccer Coach: Last weekend, after the final game of the season, you posed with my son and his seven teammates in front of the goal for some team pictures. There you were, one man
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I Never Thought it Would End THIS Way

By Karrick Dyer (this originally appeared on www.KarrickDyer.com and is reprinted with permission of @KarrickD) For anyone who has ever coached youth sports of any kind, from pee-wee to middle school, and even high school sports in some cases………I have a deep question that has been floating in my mind in recent days. Just give
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Release Your Child to the Game!

“I don’t know where to turn,” an exasperated dad recently told me after a speaking event. “My son is fast, and he is skilled. We do lots of extra practice, we go to a private skills coach, we are doing everything it takes to get to the next level, but something is not right. He
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Jordan Spieth’s Multi-Sport Path to Golf Stardom

On June 21, at the ripe old age of 21, Jordan Spieth become just the sixth golfer in history to win both The Masters and The US Open in the same year, joining some pretty illustrious company such as Woods, Nicklaus, Palmer and Hogan.  He must have played only golf growing up to become this
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Help, My Child is a Late Bloomer: 5 Tips for Overcoming the “Relative Age Effect” in Youth Sports

“Here is my question,” a mother concerned with her 10 year-old son’s sports experience recently wrote me. “I am not afraid that my son will quit sports by the time he is 13.  I am afraid that he will be denied the opportunity to play. My son is coordinated and coachable. He LOVES sports; we
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Why Kids Quit Sports

“I just can’t take it anymore coach,” a talented but underperforming player named Kate told me a few years back. “I think I am done playing.” My mind went through all the reasons this might be happening: burnout, other interests, team dynamics, I was too hard on her, the gamut. What could it be? “It’s
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What Youth Sports can Learn from Video Games

On a recent sunny Saturday, I took my kids out to the local park to play soccer with some friends. They ran, they jumped, and they competed hard. They laughed, they schemed, and they made the rules. Everyone played, no one was excluded from the game, and all the kids tried and failed over and
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The Enemy of Excellence in Youth Sports

“My daughter is the tallest fourth grader in her class and loves to play basketball,” said a father to me recently. “Sadly, I know that she will ultimately grow to be of average height.  Since she is now only allowed to rebound and give the ball to shorter-ball handler players on her team, she will
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Is Social Media Ruining Your Youth Sports Experience?

Do you turn get on Facebook, or Pinterest, or Instagram, and ever think to yourself “Everyone’s kid has a trophy, won their big game, and is having great success, but mine is not?” Does it drive you nuts when everyone else’s kids seem to be achieving something remarkable, or looking so happy, and you are
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The Missing Ingredient in US Talent Development

In 2005, the coaches at one of the top English Premier League Youth Soccer Academies held one of their semiannual meetings to decide upon which players they would keep for the upcoming cycle, and whom they would let go. As they were evaluating their players –many of whom would go on to star not only
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FUN is NOT a 4-letter Word!

When I was a kid, my parents taught me to avoid those bad four letter words we all have heard. You know the ones I mean, the ones that you would first hear in school and then think it was OK to use them at home, until you saw that look on dad’s face! My
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Starting Your Athletes the Right Way

(A child’s first contact and first impression of a sport goes a long way to determining whether or not he will fall in love with the game. As basketball great Steve Nash says, upon receiving his first ball and playing in his first organized league at age 13, “I felt like I had a new
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The Ride Home

One of the saddest things I had to do as a Director of Coaching for numerous soccer clubs was conduct exit interviews, meetings with players whom had decided to leave the club. Children quit sports for a litany of reasons, and my job was always to see what we could learn, so we could improve
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The Race to Nowhere in Youth Sports

“My 4th grader tried to play basketball and soccer last year,” a mom recently told me as we sat around the dinner table after one of my speaking engagements. “It was a nightmare. My son kept getting yelled at by both coaches as we left one game early to race to a game in the
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The Incredibly Massive Importance of Play

Let me be blunt and scream this from the rooftop: the best athletes PLAY sports. They don’t work them, they play them. When sport becomes more work than play, athletes struggle, they grind, and if they cannot get back to playing instead of working, they eventually drop out. From youth to pros, when the fun
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The Bare Essentials: Three Things Every Athlete Needs to Succeed

Elite performance is determined by a number of factors, amongst them innate talent and genetics, hours of deliberate training, coaching, and luck. But performance is also great affected by what is between an athlete’s ears: mindset. An athlete’s state of mind is perhaps the single greatest factor that affects performance. In his great book The
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What About the Single Sport Athlete? Specialization Part II

My article on sport specialization, “Is it Wise to Specialize,” prompted quite a bit of discussion, commentary, and controversy, with people chiming in from all across the globe. Certainly the dynamics of single v multiple sport participation, and its effect upon performance, injury, and burnout, is not a settled issue, and arouses many emotions. It
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Is it Wise to Specialize?

The greatest difference between our children’s sporting experience and our own is the rise of year round, sport specific organizations that ask – even require – season after season of participation in order to stay in the player development pipeline. The pressure to have your child specialize in a single sport at a young age
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