One of the most common questions I got as a coach from parents was “How do I make my kid more confident?” I wish there was an easy answer, but really, there is not. You see, one of the great misconceptions about confidence is that it can be bought, or given, and it CANNOT. Confidence is earned by an athlete through gaining competence, i.e. skill. If you want your athlete to have confidence, then get him or her to train harder, train better, and train more.
Think of it this way; what do you think will make a soccer player better, telling him 1000 times that when the cross comes in he will score, or crossing him 1000 balls and having him put them in the net? When you think of it that way, you realize that players will only believe that they can accomplish a task when they have already accomplished it many times over.
Now, of course your words and actions will help your child maintain and grow in confidence, but only hard work on the training ground will give them the confidence they need to succeed. In the future, I will talk more about cultivating your child’s confidence.
[testimonial3 author=”John O’Sullivan is the author of Changing the Game: The Parents Guide to Raising Happy, High-Performing Athletes and Giving Youth Sports Back to Our Kids. He is a former collegiate and professional soccer player, and has spent the past two decades as a coach at the youth, high school, and college level. O’Sullivan speaks nationwide to coaches, parents, and young athletes about developing athletic excellence and leadership within positive sporting environments. He resides in Bend, Oregon with his family.” + pic=”https://changingthegameproject.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/2008-John-Osullivan.jpg”][/testimonial3]
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[…] they will struggle to play as much as others who say “I can’t do that…yet!” Confident: Confidence is something that builds over time. If my team is in week-three of basketball practice and my athlete is still afraid to shoot the […]
[…] the byproducts of competence. A child who works hard and sees himself improving gains confidence. That confidence is enhanced, or shattered, by the coaches, parents, and team dynamics (more about th… Our job as coaches and parents is to ensure our athletes are growing in confidence, not by shouting […]
[…] Confident: Confidence is something that builds over time. If my team is in week-three of basketball practice and my athlete is still afraid to shoot the ball, then we have a problem and we need to fix it. It’s okay, it’s youth sports and it will take time to build confidence. However, if the athlete is afraid to shoot the ball because her parents will be disappointed that she missed, then I have a problem with the parent and that is a whole other issue. Don’t mind me, I’ll be on the sideline ecstatic that she shot the ball regardless of the result. You know what that does? It shows her it’s okay to shoot and she will most likely shoot again. She is bound to make it eventually. […]
[…] the byproducts of competence. A child who works hard and sees himself improving gains confidence. That confidence is enhanced, or shattered, by the coaches, parents, and team dynamics (more about th… Our job as coaches and parents is to ensure our athletes are growing in confidence, not by […]